College Talk
by Bekness
Summary: Emily and Paige have a talk about College. *I'm from Australia so if i get the colleges and distance and stuff wrong I'm sorry, just doing the best I can with Google*
1. Chapter 1

EPOV

It's been 3 days since Mona was murdered, the cops still haven't found her body, Spencer is out on bail but has to stay at home but she's fine with that because Toby moved in so she's been taking care of him, Hanna hasn't left her house, mourning over Mona and Caleb hasn't left her side, Aria and Ezra have been at her house looking after Mike and I've spent the last 3 days at Paige's place, my parents have been in Texas having to finish up some stuff for his transfer to Philadelphia. We were laying on her bed watching a movie and I couldn't help but feel bad that I'm so happy right now while all my friends aren't.

"What you thinking about?" Paige asked while playing with my hair

"Once again how there's all this bad stuff happening around me but I feel so lucky. I'm so happy that we are back together. I know I hurt you when I ended things and I don't deserve another chance but I'm glad you gave me one" I looked into her eyes trying to show how much I appreciate it

"Of course I would. I'd be pretty stupid not to, you're it for me, I'm never going to love anyone the way I love you. Plus I'm the one that broke your trust and I hated that I hurt you" I see a tear running down her cheek and wipe it away

"How about we both agree that we both hurt each other and we learn from it and move on" I say, giving her a kiss

"That sounds like a remarkable idea Ms Fields. So apart from all the A, Mona and Ali stuff has anything else interesting happened in the last couple of months? You seem to be loving assistant coaching"

"Yea I am loving it. I have all this swimming information stored up from the past 4 years and it's good to be able to pass it on" I smile thinking about how much I'm loving being back by the pool "it sucks a little not being able to swim but being involved outweighs that. I've put so much energy and effort into the sharks that when I had to quit swimming it just sucked" I put my head back down on her chest and she resumed playing with my hair

"It sucked not having you there, it's great having you back, even when we weren't talking having you around the pool area made it feel like home" I can hear the smile in her voice

"It's even better now" I smile up at her "hope you can take being told what to do from your girlfriend" I laugh

"I usually do" she says with a low husky tone which sends a shiver down my spine "anyway didn't you want to go stop by your house and get the mail" she says after clearing her throat

"Yea, I'm hoping to hear back from a few colleges sometime this week" I got up off the bed and turned the TV off

"Where do you want to get into?"

"I really want to get into Drexel. I've decided that I want to become a physical therapist and its close enough to home that I can just come back and Hanna and Spencer are going to New York and Aria is going to Hollis so I'll be close enough to them too the only problem is that it's still 3000 miles away from you"

"Um, yea. C'mon we better get going" she quickly grabbed her keys, that was weird, I figured I'll bring it up later.

Once we got to my house I grabbed a few changes of clothes, grabbed the milk to use before it goes off and a few other things I might need while I'm there. I flipped through the mail and found a reply from UPenn, Drexel and NYU. The ride back to Paige's place was quiet while I stared down at the Drexel envelope

"Everything will be ok" Paige said, taking her hand off the gear stick and putting in on my knee

"I haven't had my hopes up this much since Stanford and we both know how that turned out"

"Hey that was different, that was hoping on a sports scholarship, this is hoping on your brains, so you'll get in. If not then there's UPenn and NYU. And if either of them are bad news then figure it out from there, take a year off, go traveling then apply again or get a job, save up, maybe you can stay on coaching or just apply for a few more. There are endless possibilities for you, just stay positive" she smiles and rubs her thumb in circles over me knee as we pulled into her driveway

"That's easy for you to say, you've got a full ride to one of the best schools in the country and it's not just you, all my friends have got replies, got into the school they chose and I spent so much of my time worrying about A, worrying about Alison, worrying about everything apart from my future" I yell and tears rush down my face "my future lies in these 3 envelopes and I just don't know how to deal with the fact I might not get in" she pulls me in for a hug, she holds while I cry, minutes, hours, not too sure how long, I'm out of tears and I pull back. "Thanks, I'm sorry for snapping at you"

"Hey it's no problem. Look, let's go inside, you can Skype your parents and open the envelopes with them, then there's something I need to tell you" she looks away like she does when she's nervous

"What?"

"Just talk to your parents first, find out what's in those letters then we'll talk" she lets go of me then gets out of the car, I quickly grab my stuff then jump out. By the time I get inside she's already walking up to her room

"PAIGE" I yell after her, I walk in on her sitting on the bed, holding a piece of paper "you know that I can't talk to my parents with this hanging over me. Please just tell me what's going on, what's that?" I point to the paper that she folded up, she looked up at me with an unsure look on her face

"Ok, sit down" she stands and I sit in her spot


	2. Chapter 2

PPOV

As Emily sat down on my bed I tried to figure out how to word this so it doesn't come across as her fault or that I'm doing this for her. I start pacing back and forth and I can see it getting to her so I stop in the middle of my room and turn to her

"A lot of things I've done in my life, I've done because of you. Some good things, some horrible but ultimately it comes down to you. I came out because I wanted to be with you, I was mean and did something I still regret to this day because I didn't know how to process my feelings for you, I dressed up in suits for parties because you like me in them, I even became friends with Spencer, something I thought would never happen, because she's your friend and I know how much she means to you. I've done stupid stuff like try and kiss you when you were upset over Maya, the whole Nate/ Lyndon horror, I put up with your friends thinking I was A, I gave the letter to the police, I even forgave Alison, a bit for myself but ultimately for you." I take a breath and look back up at her, at some point during my speech I started pacing again and she's looking at me with a bit of confusion, fear and sadness "I'm saying all this because what I have to tell you next has nothing to do with you, this is something that I'm doing for myself and as much as I know that this is something you want for me, I'm doing this because I want this for me" I twist the letter in my hand, debating whether to explain first or just hand it to her

"Paige, your confusing and kind of scaring me, is everything ok?" she asks and moves back on the bed, patting the spot next to her. I take a deep breath and move over next to her

"I'm not going to Stanford next year" I blurt out

"WHAT?! Paige that's your dream, why aren't you going? You got a full ride, your truly lucky, swimming for Stanford is what you always wanted to do" she half yells half scolds

"No, it's not. It was my father's dream for me then it was our dream but never mine on my own. I've been thinking about this for a while, even before we broke up, but I didn't do anything about it until we did"

"Why didn't you tell me?" she says softly in a tone that breaks my heart because she looks hurt

"You were dealing with a lot, I didn't want to add to that"

"You could've told me Paige"

"Anyway" I didn't really want to get into it, at the time she had just gotten back from Ravenswood and she had been distant, knowing now that its because she was almost sawn in half and that they found out Alison was alive. I didn't want her to hurt more by telling her this so I decide to move on "after we broke up I realised that a lot of my life revolved around you. I didn't have any friends except the team, Caleb was in Ravenswood and was acting real weird and I usually got along with Toby because he was your friend, so I had to figure out who I, Paige McCullers is. I spent the first 3 days of our break up in bed either crying or worrying. I'm not sure if you knew this but the cops interviewed me the night you all left, one of your neighbours saw us talking and they wanted to know if I knew where you went. So just hours after we had broken up I was sitting in an interrogation room being asked hundreds of questions"

"I'm so sorry Paige, I didn't know that" she looks like she's about to start crying so I continue on hoping the next part will stop that

"It's ok, don't cry it gets better. So the next couple of days I was really worried that something had happened, didn't help that none of you answered your phones but soon word got around that you were all back, safe and unharmed, except for Ezra but so was Alison. I was sure that from then on that you would be with her, wanting her. I know what a first love is like, how hard it is to get over them, if you can at all, so I decided it was time to focus on me. See what things I like except swimming and well, you. So I tried a bunch of new things, see what I'm good at, what I like, what I don't. Turns out I'm no MasterChef but I'm an alright Cake Boss, I'm a bit of a nerd, am loving comic books at the moment, I don't like romance or western books but I love crime, drama and sci fi. I'm not a big tennis fan and I'm really getting into soccer. Turns out I'm a really good drawer but the thing that has changed my mind on everything is I'm a really good graphic artist, not just comic book style but I made up these cartoon characters and have them doing adventures or just playing around making something boring look extremely cool, here I'll show you" I got up and grabbed a folder off my desk, recently I've started printing out all my stuff and putting them here, like a portfolio. I hand it to her and sit back and wait while she looks at it

"Wow, these are really good. So what did you do next?" she says, still looking at the folder and I can't help but a bit of pride runs through my body, loving that she likes them

"I decided it was time to talk to my dad" her head snaps up and I laugh at the shocked look on her face "I sat him down, told him what I'd been thinking, and showed him that folder and we had an actual alright chat. I told him that I just want to be happy and being at Stanford won't make me happy and that even though I love swimming I don't want to do it for the next 4 years, he was surprisingly ok with it"

"Why won't you be happy at Stanford?" I think she knows the answer but just needs me to confirm it

"Mainly for 3 reasons, 1 it was our dream, I don't think I could go there without you it would just feel wrong and probably break my heart even more, 2 its too far away from home, my grandma is sick and Scranton is a lot closer to here then it is to Cali and 3 I'd be all alone, no one I know is going there and I suck at making friends so it'd be 4 years of lonesomeness, heart break and home sickness so I decided to apply for a few other colleges closer to home"

"Did you get into anywhere?"

"I did" I hand her the piece of paper, holding my breath while waiting for her reaction. Now that I've found out where she's applied, I'm trying not to get my hopes up too much, maybe a bit of our dream from Stanford can happen again. I release my breath when I see a massive smile on her face and she jumps into my arms.


	3. Chapter 3

EPOV

I couldn't believe it, I pull back from the hug I sprung on her "You're going to UPenn" I said with a smile

"Yea, got the acceptance letter last week. I'm going to be studying Graphic Design, Advertising and Marketing. Sorry for not telling you earlier and making it seem like something bad, I was just nervous to tell you"

"Why? Do you have any idea how proud of you I am right now?" I wish she could see it, I can feel the proudness I feel for her flowing off me in waves

"Really? I'm proud of me too actually. I just didn't want it to seem like I was giving it all up to wait around for you. I know that sounds bad but it's something I probably would've done if I hadn't have figured out who I was and what I wanted. I think our relationship will be better now that I've got my head screwed on and figured out who I am" she smiles and my heart melts, I lean forward and catch her in a passionate kiss, when air becomes a problem I pull back

"I really love you and I'm so proud and happy for you. You're going to do great things Paige McCullers and I can't wait to be along for the ride" this time it's her who pulls me in for a kiss.

"I'm really proud of you too, no matter what it says in any of those envelopes. We both have come so far from junior year but you especially, I remember this shy girl who wasn't too sure in herself, who slowly started standing up for herself, against me especially. Now look at you, you came out, helped me, took on A, defended your friends against everyone, helped Alison, and took everything that was thrown at you. You are amazing and whatever is in those envelopes, whatever happens next you should be proud of yourself because I sure as hell am" I lock eyes with her and smile, _how did I ever break up with her? Everything she does she does for me and for our love_ I think

"I wouldn't have been able to do most of that without you by my side, so let's just both be proud of each other" I look down at the envelopes "guess it's time to skype the parents"

"No matter what any of these 3 envelopes say just know that anything is still possible to happen and if they aren't what you want to hear there's more options to do next year" she says while passing me my laptop. I send a quick text to my mother telling her to get on skype and 5 minutes later we are all set up

"What one do you want to open first Emmy?" my dad asks

"I'll do NYU first, it doesn't really bother me if I get in or not" I open the letter I quickly scan the letter and see _regret to inform you_ and I release a breath I didn't realise I was holding. "I didn't get in but that's ok" I smile to my parents and Paige squeezes my hand

"As long as you're ok with that then so are we sweetie" my mum says "UPenn next?"

"Yep" I look to Paige and draw some strength from her. I take a breath then rip it open, I release my breath and smile "I got in" I jumped into Paige's arms, knowing no matter what happens now we will be together next year

"Congratulations" all 3 say to me

"Just one more" Paige whispers while still holding me close. I turn over the Drexel envelope and slowly open it, apart from Paige, I've never wanted anything more.

"I can't do it, here you read it" I thrust the envelope in her direction and try and control my shaking hands, while staring at the floor. It was the quietest and longest 10 seconds of my life

"Looks like you're going to be a Dragon baby" she says then kisses me, my parents congratulating me and it takes a moment for it to sink in

"I got in?" I ask and she nods "I GOT IN!" I jump up and pull her with me giving her the biggest hug then start doing my happy dance

"Congratulations Emmy. We are so proud of you" my dad says

"Thanks so much you guys, I couldn't have gotten in if it wasn't for your guys support. I love you" I tell them and I see tears running down mums face, mirroring mine

"Our baby's going to college" she cries into my dad's shoulder

"It's ok honey, she's all grown up now" he smiles to me and pulls her close. I smile at them and sit back down on the bed, Paige not far behind me

"We should look for an apartment" I randomly blurt out to her and she looks at me in shock

"Um, what?" she asks with a look of confusion on her face

"We should move in together, I still want that room on your computer, except now it can be an apartment. I know we only just got back together but I don't want to spend any more time away from you. I want our life together and I want it to start as soon as possible" I smile at her and after a moment she leans in and we kiss passionately, temporarily forgetting my parents

"Huhhum" I hear my dad clear his throat and we quickly pull apart, both our cheeks red and Paige dips her head in her nervous McCullers way that I love so much

"Sorry, got carried away. I'm just so happy" I tell them but they both have a look of confusion on their face

"That's ok honey but isn't Paige going to Standford?" my mum asks

"I'm not any more. I'm actually going to UPenn now, I had some time to think about what I wanted for me and I realised moving away isn't what I want. I'd be so far away from the people I love that I think I would've just ended up miserable. So after talking to my dad I applied for a few places closer to home and found out last week I got accepted to UPenn" she explains and I can hear and see the happiness flow through her.

"That's great sweetie. Are you still going to be swimming?"

"Nah, during my time of figuring out what I wanted I realised I don't want to be swimming for the next 4 years. It was more of my dad's dream for me than mine, shocked the hell out of me when he said he was ok with it, as long as I completed the rest of the year. But it's good now because I don't have to work so hard to keep a scholarship I didn't really want." She explains, I always loved how well she got on with my parents and how easy it was for her to open up to them

"That's great news Paige, as long as you're happy that's all we care about" my dad says then looks down at his watch "Sorry guys but I've got a meeting in half an hour so we must go, just know we are both proud of you and we'll be home Monday, love you both" he says and after saying our goodbyes and shutting down the laptop Paige leans against the headboard and I curl up into her

"I love you" I say to her and pull her closer

"I love you too, always" she kisses my head "so apartments huh?" she says and I look up at her

"Well yea, we won't be going to the same college so we won't be able to be in the same dorm but I figure if we both get jobs then we should be able to find a place" I say and she laughs "what's funny?"

"We won't need to, find one that is. Dad's got an apartment in Phili that he uses once a month for work and he said I could live there, just have to put up with him for a week a month and I'm pretty sure he loves you more than he does me so I'm sure there will be no problem if we move in there together" she says then kisses me, I kiss back with more pressure and move to straddle her lap. She runs her hands up my legs then up my back and I moan into her mouth, I break away and start kissing down her neck and find that spot she loves while she starts to undo my top. As she gets to the last button my phone starts ringing

"Damn it. That's Hannas ringtone" I say as I sit back on her legs and pick up my phone and answer it "Hey Han" I say while Paige starts to do up my buttons

"Hey Em, are you busy? Spencer just rang and her and Toby are bored, figure we could all go around and hang out? We haven't seen each other for 3 days, Aria and Ezra are on their way there now" she says and she's sounding a lot more Hanna like than the past couple of times I've talked to her

"Yea ok. I've actually got some great news so that works out well. We'll be there in about 10 minutes" I say goodbye and explain to Paige what's happening

"Looks like we'll finish celebrating later" she says as I move off her and fix my hair

"We most certainly will"


	4. Chapter 4

**PPOV**

I was so relieved knowing that Emily understood where I was coming from and how I didn't want to go to Stanford. We made our way over to Spencers and walked around to the barn, Toby was living in there until his leg was better so Spencer was basically living there too.

"Hey guys" Emily yells out when we walked in

"Hey guys, so Ems what is this news you have for us?" Hanna yells out and runs up to Emily

"Calm down! No need to ambush us at the door, wait till we sit down and get talking" she laughs as Hanna pouts and grabs her arm and drags her over to the couch and I just walk behind and give Toby and Caleb a hug. I'm still getting to know Mr Fitz- I mean Ezra, as a person and Aria's boyfriend and not as my English teacher so I just give him a quick hello. I go sit down next to Emily who is still trying to calm Hanna down. After handing out coffees Spencer comes and sits down next to me

"OK everyone's here and sitting so what do you have to tell us?" Hanna was basically bouncing in her seat and I look over to Em who has a big smile on her face.

"Should we start with my news, your news or our news?" I ask her and look at everyone else a mixture of confusion, worry and impatience on their face

"Let's start why yours"

"Ok, well I want to let you all know that I've given up my scholarship to Stanford-"a bunch of gasps interrupt me

"Why? You trained so hard, it was your dream" Spencer asks so I explained to them the same thing I told Emily and her parents and they all understood as well and were excited when I told them that I was going to UPenn.

"So what's your news Em?" Aria asked

"I got into Drexel!" she exclaims and all the girls jump on her giving her a hug. They all knew how much it meant to her, the boys congratulated her and she gave an extra thanks to Ezra who had helped her with her letter. "Thanks guys, I'm so happy I got in. I also got into UPenn but Drexel is my first choice so I'm so glad I got in" she smiles and sits closer to me "and because we both are moving to Phili, going to schools couple of blocks away we have decided to move in together next year" she looks over to me and smiles which I mirror. Hanna squeals and jumps on both of us

"Aw you guys are so cute. Do you need help apartment hunting? I'll be great at helping find somewhere for you guys" she bounces up in the chair listing off places she thinks would be good for us

"Actually Han, we already have a place, well if its ok with my dad. He owns an apartment he uses once a month and said I could move in when I got in to UPenn and if he ok's Em living there which I'm sure he will we'll just move in there. We just have to put up with him for about a week a month" I tell them with a massive smile "and you know what? I can't wait to find out if we can so I'm goingto go ring dad and see what he says" I stand up and give her a quick kiss and walk out of the barn.

While the phone dials I think back to when I first told Emily about the Stanford dream, her sitting on her bed getting all excited when I mentioned her, me, donuts and diners. My body temperature raises a bit as I remember how we celebrated all night, using the fact her mother was in Texas to our advantage

"Hello" I was brought back to the present by my dad's voice on the other end of the line

"Hey dad, how's work?" I ask, lately we have become a lot closer and I actually find what he does a bit interesting

"It's going good. Got a few more clients to see today and I should be home in time for tea. Do you and Emily just want me to get something from the grille? With your mother in Scranton I think we should treat ourselves"

"Yea alright that sounds good. I'm actually ringing for a reason, I've got some great news. Emily got into Drexel so that means we'll both be in Phili next year"

"Thanks awesome news sweetie. Is that her first choice?"

"Yep, she also got into UPenn but has decided Drexel is the place for her" I trail off, unsure how to ask the next part. When Emily and I broke up I cried to my dad and told him everything, about how she was the first person I liked, how we were together the first time and how ultimately it was because of her I came out. How she came to my house when she was drugged, how we finally got together and how we broke up because I told the cops Alison was alive. He held me all night and told me everything will work out and I will come out of this stronger, just like I do with everything else.

"I'm guessing you and Emily want to move in together and into the apartment I gave you" he said as a statement more than a question

"Um yea. I know we have only been back together for 3 days but we were together for a year and college starts in 6 months so there's still plenty of time for us not to be rushing in to it"

"It's ok Paige, I know how much you love her. Your love for her is the same as the love I have for your mother but before I agree to this I want you both to sit down and have a proper adult chat. Talk about your future and what you both want. It pains me to see you in so much pain whenever something goes wrong in your relationship and you've come so far, finding yourself, becoming who you are, I just don't want you to see you turn back into the Paige that did everything for Emily, as bad as that sounds but that what you called yourself. So before I say yes, which I'm sure I will, I want you both to have that chat and see where you both stand and sort out everything that needs to be sorted" I have tears in my eyes by the time he finishes talking, I know he's right. We still have a lot of stuff to talk about

"I know. I'm not that person anymore and I now that I am me I don't think that will change, I'll just be Paige McCullers graphic designer who has a girlfriend named Emily Fields not Paige McCullers Emily Fields' girlfriend and swimmer. I'll be me first then Emily's girlfriend not the other way around. I know we need to talk, we haven't really with everything going on but it needs to happen, so when it does I will let you know and then you can say yes" I laugh and after him agreeing we say goodbye and hang up.

I can hear laughter inside the barn but I just want to take a moment before I head back in, I lean against the wall for a little bit when the door opens and Caleb comes out, looking around till he spots me then walks over

"How did things go with your dad?" he says leaning against the wall next to me

"Good, he wants me and Emily to have an adult conversation about our relationship and work things out properly before he says yes. He's worried that I'll become her little lap dog again and get hurt even worse"

"Are you"

"Am I what?" I look at him confused

"Worried that you'll become her lap dog again? I know we've talked about it before and during the times I answered your calls when in Ravenswood we talked about it more in depth so I know you must be a little worried"

"To be honest, I am a little but it's only because I try and protect her that I do what I can for her, but if I've learnt anything over the last month it's that she can take care of herself. I know she probably got into some trouble when I wasn't around and she's still here and whatever happened brought her back to me so I shouldn't worry so much but it's just hard to switch off" I sigh and take the bottle of coke he's holding and take a drink

"I know what you mean, it's like when we started dating the girls in this group we were thrown into all the A stuff then when you break up your out of it but you still know what's going on but you can't help anymore so you have to try and deal with sitting back and watching" he nods and takes the drink back

"I've grown a lot in the last month, becoming who I want to be and I think our relationship will be better because of it. I have more self-esteem, I'm not afraid to look in the mirror anymore and I have a lot more confidence and I think that will make it all better. Before I was constantly looking for proof that she loved me, always wanting to make sure she knew I did and I think it took its toll, plus on top of that was all the A stuff, Alison returning and all the other secrets it kind of just blew up in our face"

"Yea, the secrets, Alison and A really take its toll. I regret leaving Hanna but I couldn't leave Ravenswood at the time with so much going on and I felt worse leaving her to deal with everything that was happening here, I'm just glad she gave me a second, no wait third chance"

"You know you could've talked to me with everything going on when you were there right. Your my best friend, you can always talk to me about anything" we had caught up a while ago when he first got back and he filled me in on what happened in Ravenswood and even though it sounded crazy, the way he talked about it, his body language and the look in his eyes made me believe him

"Yea because that wouldn't have sounded weird, "Hey Paige hows it going? Oh me not too bad, I now see ghosts and I'm apart of some 100 year curse, nothing too exciting" I hardly believe it and I lived it" he mocked and slumped back further on the wall

"I'd believe anything you say, you're not a liar" I pat his shoulder and give him a smile

"I know, and I'll keep that in mind for future reference, by the way your my best friend too and I'm liking this new you, you've always been badass but this knowing who you are thing and heaps of confidence is really working for you" he winks and laughs

"Well I like this new you too, the haircut and beard really suit you and you're rocking the I have world experience attitude" I laugh "Come on we better go inside before our girlfriends think we've run away together"

"Ha, you wish. I'm way too much man for you"

"That's exactly right" I laugh and head back inside


	5. Chapter 5

**EPOV**

I'm sitting in the same spot as before Paige left half listening to Hanna go on about a movie her and Caleb had watched recently but most of my mind was on what was taking Paige so long, she'd been gone nearly half an hour and Caleb had walked out nearly 20 minutes ago, I'm just worried her dad said no. If he does I totally get where he's coming from, we haven't been back together that long, I screwed her around a fair bit when we were together and I broke her heart at a drop of a hat. I'm just going to have to prove to her parents, like I do to Paige that she's it for me and that I will fight for this relationship and do whatever it takes.

I was just about to get up and go look for her when her and Caleb came back in laughing and nudging each other, my heart starts beating faster and I get the familiar butterflies in my stomach whenever she's around seeing her walk in. I haven't seen that look of utter happiness on her face for a while and I feel bad about that, knowing it's my fault that smile hasn't been seen for a long time. She the moment her eyes land on mine the smile dims a bit then stretches even bigger when she notices the one I have, she comes over and sits down, placing a hand on my thigh while continues to talk to Caleb about some Xbox game, knowing that she seemed ok let me relax a bit more and I put my hand on hers, intertwining our fingers and placed my full attention back to Hanna. When we had first rocked up we had all made a decision that for this afternoon there will be no talk of A, Alison, Mona or anything else that can get us down, it's all there at the forefront of our minds but we know that we all need this time to just be normal teenagers, even if it's only for a couple of hours.

"So Paige, what did your dad say? You guys all set to move in?" Spencer asked and I felt her tense next to me for a moment

"Um, yea kind of. There's some things he wants us to do first before he officially says yes but once we do them we'll be all set. We'll have to go shopping and buy a lot of stuff, the apartments pretty empty, there's really only a bed, couple of plates and a sofa" she says and gives me a look of _we'll talk later_. Her rambling set up a new topic of how we should design the apartment and Hanna and Aria throwing ideas around of what theme we should have, Spencer giving us ideas on how much it'll all cost and the boys just sitting around throwing in audio set ups and great deals we should be able to get on entertainment packs. I haven't seen the place but knowing Nick McCullers it would be a nice, big apartment in the middle on Philly.

A few hours and a really good afternoon with friends later we got back to Paiges, her dad would be home in about an hour and I was dying to know what he had said, but before I could say anything she talked first

"We need to talk"

"I know, so much has happened and we kind of just jumped back into it" I told her while sitting down on the bed

"Yea, dad wants us to have an adult conversation, sort everything out before he says yes but I had already planned to have this talk" she sighed and sat down next to me "I need you to know what I was thinking and feeling back then and please don't interrupt otherwise I might not get it all out" I nod and she stands up and starts pacing "the first thing I need you to know is that I didn't give the letter to the police for revenge, I did it to protect you and I'm sorry I broke your trust but I did what I did because I love you and even if it meant not being with you but that you were still alive then there was no other option for me.

As much as it broke me when we broke up I wasn't really that surprised, I felt like you'd already checked out. It was always me asking you on dates or just to hang out and I know that sounds bad but it's what I felt. What hurt the most was that you thought I told the cops for revenge, yes I hated her and I was thankful when she disappeared but everything that she did to me made me the person I am today. She made me realised my feelings for you, my attraction to women and as much as I hated her, as much as I wish she was still gone, I can't be revengeful because she did me a favour" she stopped pacing and came and sat down next to me, leaning forward, elbows on her knees and head in her hands "and even as I say all this, saying I'm basically thankful for her for that, you choosing her over me, you jumping in that car leaving me standing on your front lawn crying with just a goodbye broke me even more. I guess in a way I'm thankful for that too, if we hadn't have broken up I wouldn't have worked out what I want but it still hurt" she had tears in her eyes and her head bowed so I got up a kneeled in front of her and placed my hands on her cheeks and wiped away the tears with my thumbs, what she had just told me broke my heart, I knew I had been distant but I didn't even have a clue about how it affected her and it broke even more seeing her like this.

"Can I talk now?" I ask and she nods "I'm so sorry you felt like that and yes I will admit that I pulled away from you, especially when I found out Alison was alive and part of that was because it was another secret to keep but I didn't tell you mainly because I didn't want to hurt you, finding out the girl that had tortured you, made your life hell, made it so that self-harm seemed to be the only option was alive and that I was helping her come back, I couldn't do that to you and that's the reason I pulled away, I couldn't be around you without wanting to tell you.

The second thing I want you to know is that I don't blame you for the letter. Yes it broke my trust but after I thought about it I realised that it was the smartest thing to do and I also realised that if it were the other way around I probably would have done the same thing. Just know that I trust you wholly and completely and I know you didn't do it out of revenge and that was probably the worst thing I could say to you, I was just angry and didn't think. I'm so sorry how that turned out and for leaving you on the front lawn, I should've stayed, should've talked about it with you or at least organise a time to talk or something, but everything just came crashing down all at once and the girls were waiting, it was just the worse night, the whole way to Philly then New York I was thinking about you" I take a breath and sit back next to her, I figure I should put everything on the table, tell her everything that has happened in the last month

"There's something that I have to tell you and I hope you know that no matter what happened know that I love you and nothing will change that" I wait for her to respond and at a slight nod of her head I take a deep breath "You know that day that I got you and Ali to talk in my bedroom? So she wouldn't have a hold over you" she nods "Then that night we went to the _Frozen_ sing-a-long" she gives a small smile and nods again "well that night Alison told me she was in love with me and we kissed" I watch her face fall then she sighs

"I know" she mumbled

"What? How?" I ask shockingly

"Well I didn't know it was that night but I knew you would have. Like I said it's hard to get over your first love and I just had a feeling when she came back that something would have happened between you two. I saw you around town and at school with her, how close you were standing, how your gaze never left hers, how you always had to know where she was. I tried to tell myself that it was just because you wanted to make sure she wouldn't disappear again but I knew that there was more to it. To be honest every time you came up to me in the locker room I was just waiting for you to tell me that you two were together, that's why I was always on edge whenever you would come over, then you would say something else and I would once again be on edge until the next time you walked up to me" she was still looking down but I heard her voice crack and saw the tears run down her face, I pulled her into a hug and just held her, silent tears running down my face

"You want to know something. Kissing Alison did nothing for me, it didn't give me the butterflies, the electricity and the everything kissing you does to me. I love kissing you, the way you pull me close, the way you smile into every kiss and the way you look at me after we pull away. You make me feel special and loved and I hope I do that to you too, if not start preparing for it because you are going to be feeling super special and loved" I pull her in for a quick kiss then pulled back, a beat later she smiled and leaned forward and kissed me, a kiss that we both smiled into.


	6. Chapter 6

**PPOV**

Later that night Emily was in the shower and I was sitting on the couch with my sketch book open, doodling away on new ideas that had popped into my head recently when my dad came and sat down next to me.

"Did you have that talk with Emily?"

"Sort of, we talked about everything that has happened, how we both were feeling, where we both were coming from and what we were thinking. We haven't really talked about the future yet but I know I don't want anyone but her and I'm starting to feel it's the same for her too. I feel like I did at the start of our relationship, when everything was possible and before things got in the way" I tell him while still drawing

"That's great honey, I'm just a little worried about what is going to happen if problems arise again. Is she just going to ignore you again? Are you going to keep coming home upset all the time? I'm not saying there will never be problems because in all relationships there are, I just hope that you two deal with it better this time" he says and I stop drawing and look at him, I think back to all the times when I knew Emily was lying to me and I would come home, crying and would go straight to my room, ignoring my parents, pushing them away or lashing out at them.

"I know, I don't plan on it. Next time there is a problem I will be sitting her down and talking about it, even if she wants to ignore my, I'll just tie her to a chair or something until it's sorted" I smile as he laughs "and I just want to say I'm sorry for pushing you and mum away when I was arguing with Emily, it wasn't fair to you two when all you wanted to do was help" he pulls me in for a hug, which I return

"Its ok, just know we love you and don't want to see you hurting" he kisses my forehead and pulls away from the hug "so what are you drawing?" I tell him about the ideas I've had recently, how I'm going to set it out, what colours I want to do it and by the time I finish he has a massive smile on his face

"What?" I look down at my drawing, trying to see what he finds so funny

"I just love how you talk about this stuff, the twinkle in your eyes, the smile on your face and the excitement in your voice. I haven't seen it since you first started swimming competitively when you were 8 and even though we had our differences in the past, you're still my little girl and I've only ever wanted you to be happy. I'm so proud of you and the young woman you've become, you're going to go far in this world Paige and if you ever need anything your mother and I are here" this time I pull him in for a hug as tears run down my face, things were strained between us when I first came out to them then eventually it got better, now I can't imagine not having my dad to lean on.

A little while later Emily came down looking as gorgeous as eve, it always amazed me how she looked more beautiful in just her pyjamas and no makeup and hair still wet than she did all dressed up for a night out. We watched a movie then I decided to go for a shower myself, I wasn't too sure about leaving Emily and my dad by themselves after everything that has happened recently but I just needed a few moment to myself. Under the warm spray I thought over everything that we talked about, how I told her what I thought and felt, usually I don't open up so much, I tell her a few things that won't hurt her but kept most of it bottled up and I knew that if I wanted our relationship to move forward then we both had to be completely honest. Finding out that she actually did kiss Alison left me with a mixture of emotions, I felt like that she would always come between us but knowing now that she's finally got her closure made me feel a lot better. I just can't help but worry that something will happen and Emily will question her feelings again, she says now that I'm the only one for her but I can't help feeling either Alison or someone else will come along. I guess this is something else we will have to talk about.

After my shower I walked down the stairs and was about to turn into the living room when I overheard Emily talking to my dad, it sounded really serious and curiosity and not wanting to interrupt found me sitting at the bottom step.

"Look Mr McCullers, I know I treated Paige badly and there is nothing I regret more but I want to prove to you, Mrs McCullers and her that I will treat her right and that she's for me. I will do everything in my power to make her happy and I'm working on gaining back her trust and hopefully yours too" she said and I could hear her voice breaking and could imagine the tears escaping from her eyes no matter how hard she tried to look strong

"Emily, we love you but we love Paige more and seeing her coming home crying her eyes out, pushing us away, it hurt Helen and I so yes, we were angry with you…" I heard him pause and felt tears springing into my eyes "however, I know what you're going through, when Helen and I started dating we went through some very serious problems and we broke up for about 4 months and I don't really like to admit this but I was a terrible mess in that time. Eventually we talked everything out, figured out what we wanted out of our futures and each other, obviously things worked out for us but it took time and hard work. I can see you and Paige going the distance with your relationship but it will take those two things as well, you both just have to work through it. That's why I suggested you two talking it out before I said yes to the apartment, I want you both to figure out where you see yourselves, not just because I won't give the apartment if you're just going to break up but because it was a good reason to get you both to talk. I've been around you two for the past 3 days and I get the circumstances and all, with your friend passing away but things have been tense and you both have been ignoring it and trying to move on like nothing happened. I told Paige this and I will tell you, I will most probably say yes to the apartment so after you've talked, start planning your future." I smile at this, knowing Emily most probably has the same smile as well and beds pushed together flashes through my mind "You don't have to win back mine or Helen's trust Emily because it never left, you make her happy and that's all we've ever wanted for her and for that you make a great daughter-in-law" I hear movement and know she has engulfed my father in a hug, I quietly go back upstairs, giving them a moment then thump my way down making enough noise for them to hear me. When I walk into the lounge they were both on opposite couches, Emily trying her hardest to make it look like she hasn't been crying and dad with his normal neutral face on doing a crossword, I sit down next to Emily, pull her close and kiss her forehead and watch TV, my heart swelling knowing how much love is in this room.

After the movie finished we said goodnight to dad and went up to my room, both already in our pyjamas after our showers we jumped straight into bed. I turned the TV on for background noise as Emily cuddled up to me

"There's more stuff we have to talk about" she said still looking at the TV

"I've said it once this week and I'll say it again, I'm sick of talking so how about we just get to the main points. I love you, I don't want anyone but you, and I want to marry you one day, have a family with you and grow old with you. From now on when there's a problem we have to talk to each other about it, no matter how small, how big, how much it might hurt one of us. We can't keep going like we were and I don't want to feel like I have been ever again, communication needs to become more of a big deal for us, we can't be keeping each other in the dark because we want to protect each other anymore, ok?" I say, looking down at the top of her head, when she looks up I see the tears in her eyes

"I totally agree with all that, I really can't wait to have a family with you, you're going to make an awesome mother. And I agree that we need to communicate more, I can't keep keeping secrets from you, no matter what they have to do with. I know that if we all want this A stuff to be over we all need to talk to our partners, get as much help as we can get but it's not just about that, I need to tell you what's going on with me, what I'm thinking and feeling and like you said you have to do the same. Everything that happens we will work through it because I don't want to be with anyone but you." She smiles up at me and kisses me, a kiss full of love and hope, when she pulls back I see a question in her eyes so I wait for her to ask "who was that girl you went to the movies with? Aria said she was pretty and you both looked pretty cosy" she looks away and I laugh

"My costume that didn't fit?" I smile and see a small one grace her face as she nods "her names Andrea, her mother works with mine and they set us up. Dad and Mum thought it would be a good idea for me to try and see what's out there and for the looking cosy part I don't see how, as soon as I saw Aria and Mona I tensed up and realised that I didn't want to be anywhere with Andrea, so after the movie, we had a talk, and we both realised we are in love with other people and only went on the date because our parents asked us and it wasn't fair to either of us to use each other as a rebound. So that's what happened with that, we just decided to stay friends" I tell her and she smiles an even big smile, jumps up, straddles my lap and rips my shirt off

"I believe we have to continue something from earlier" she smiles as she lunges forward and hungry kiss.


End file.
